On Karate...

As I start to get into my own martial arts education, I am starting to look more carefully at how my daughters practice.  I worry about becoming a "karate mom" or a stage mom; wanting them to be the best in their own classes so that I look like I'm doing my job outside the dojo.  This is probably really bad.  As they say in swimming, coaches coach, swimmers swim, and parents parent.

My oldest daughter, Lulu, loves karate, but since she is 10 and quite stubborn, she thinks in her head that she's Wendy Wu, Homecoming Warrior.  She loves what she's doing, but she is overzealous and needs to learn control and respect for her fellow classmates and her sensei.  I used to cringe when she was in class and doing something that's so incredibly "off"; I worried about whether her actions made me look like a bad parent?  What should I do to help her work on this?  If I work on it too much outside of class does that make me a crazy obsessive?  Will she resent me for correcting her?  Why do I even think this is all about me?

Fortunately, being a student of karate has given me a lot more confidence in addressing this.  Before, I was just in the audience and not knowing the proper techniques, all I could do was just stew in frustration and worry.  When she got out of class I would find myself upset with her because of what I perceived as her showing disrespect.  Now that I'm learning along with my girls, we can run through what we're working on together.  And we have fun!  And she's even corrected me a few times, which makes me a better student.  My daughters and I have bonded in a whole new way, changing the dynamic in our relationship.  I am moving away from being the "mommy" to being a "mom."

So today, when she was being corrected on her technique, I listened attentively and nodded, confident in knowing that we could go home and learn together on how to make it better.  I'm becoming more calm, less critical, and that in turn helps Lulu gain confidence.