So I ran my first half-marathon today. But the story actually starts two years ago, when I took a look at my body and asked myself, “what the hell happened to you?” Being a full time mom with a full-time job had done a number on me. Not to mention telecommuting. No one told me about the “telecommuting 20”, the 20 pounds of weight you gain simply by the mere fact of being able to cook exactly what you want for every meal and only having to move just a few feet a day. Then add on the metabolism factor—I never believed my friends who warned me that my metabolism would change for the worse after 35—oy. Bottom line: I had gone from curvy to flabby.
So I did what every woman does and first tried to control what I ate—that didn’t work. Then I tried to exercise on my own. Again, not working. I finally got serious and joined a gym and got a personal trainer. My first trainer, Stacy, was awesome, but sadly after three months she left to find a job closer to home. Then I met Natalie, who was a force of nature. I never thought that so much energy and strength could come in such a small package. She taught me the benefit of weight training, and while I’m sure I constantly disappointed her (my mouth ran more than I did), she helped me get over my fear of the big scary machines in the gym. My first post-trainer race was the Detroit Turkey Trot 5 K in 2009. I finished in 36 minutes and thought I was the bomb-diggity.
If I was a good girl, I would have kept signing up for races and been accountable, but I hit a snag with work stress and stopped making exercise a priority again. Then I developed a recurring strep throat infection that lasted for near a year. By January 2011 I was exhausted from trying to stay dedicated to exercise, knowing that it was good for me, but at the same time completely wiped out from being perpetually ill and trying to keep up my other life responsibilities.
I was determined to get back on track. I joined the adult karate class at my daughters' dojo, and I signed up for this half marathon. This is MY year to shine, my year to meet goals for myself that I’ve had for several decades, but never made a priority because I didn’t want to appear selfish.
But something happens when you put yourself first. You start to realize that by being good to yourself, you are good to everyone else around you. And while I still lose my temper with my family way more than I’d like, I’m way too hard on myself professionally, and my house always is a mess, I know that most problems can be solved by taking a run. Or a bike ride. Or kicking it out at the dojo. And when I do that everything else gets better.
The other thing I also realized was that people come in all shapes and sizes—I am never going to be a waif—I’m too tall and I enjoy eating way too much for that to happen. But as long as I’m good to myself and am mindful of what I put into my body (except for that $3 wine. . .hey, I didn’t say I was perfect) then I need to stop beating myself up.
So I ran the ½ marathon today—my hamstring ached from the start, and I was not fully prepared for the rigors of a trail course. But I FINISHED. And no one can take that away from me. There’s something to be said for that.
There’s also something to be said for finishing nearly dead last in a half marathon, in front of an 80 year old man with a ligament injury. More than a little humbling. But at the same time there’s a certain amount of satisfaction associated with beating that old dude. ;)
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