I won't be bragging about my kid's grades. I've never bragged about my kid's grades. There have been semesters that we were relieved that a child didn't fail a class or raised the grade in another from a D- to a C+. This semester, we are relieved that for the first time since 7th grade, my oldest daughter didn't get lower than a C in a class.
Not because I don't think my two girls are brilliant, amazing, awesome, sassy, gifted and talented. No way. I bet my 10 year old daughter can contour makeup better than any Kardashian, and my oldest daughter could bust out an ironic observation on life while drawing a Manga character based on her imagination (she once drew me as a seahorse. As a joke. I am terrified of seahorses).
These are the talents that grades don't capture. These are the talents that don't show up on report cards.
What I do brag about is this:
- My oldest daughter, a collector of dolls since infancy, gave away an American Girl gift card she got to Christmas so that a chronically ill child could get the accessories for her AG doll to "match" her.
- My youngest just gave up a $100 bill she got for Christmas to help the American Heart Association
- My oldest daughter has a memory like a steel trap, and remembers facts and figures and trivia on topics such as the Bubonic Plague, Elizabethan England, the American Revolution and that time I forgot to pick her up from school when she was 8.
- My youngest can watch a You Tube tutorial on everything about raising a hamster and then apply it to make a crazy awesome habitat for her Russian White dwarf, Cam, who lives in digs that are better than 95% of the human population. Want to know about the advantages of scatter feeding a hamster? Ask her, she will tell you.
- My oldest has a heart so big that she has already decided she wants a career as a person who helps critically ill children and their families. And researches this every chance she gets.
- Both girls have accomplished something their 40-something mother has never done, and that is apply and wear makeup without looking like Alice Cooper.
I could go on and on, and sometimes I do. When you have a child who struggles you tend to overcompensate for the lukewarm grades. But I think the hardest thing you do is that you try not to steal the joy from another parent whose child's grades are exemplary and phenomenal. You tend to avoid the social media posts from gushing moms who post a picture of their kid's report cards, or avoid the discussion all together while sipping your latte at after school pickup. You tell yourself it's not their fault, that if your kid got all As on their report card that you'd probably shout it from the rooftops, too. In essence, you try not to be that Debbie Downer who deflates that giant balloon.
Because we all know that time and life is the great equalizer. For every straight A student is a kid who is colorblind; for every great test taker there's a student who struggles to find a job after graduation. We all have our talents, and like I said to another parent yesterday, no one will ever ask your kid what kind of grade they got in 9th grade algebra. As we move on in life, our talents come forward and we become more comfortable in admitting that we aren't good at everything. We just need to make sure that we are giving our kids the same message and help them plan for the struggles as much as we celebrate the success.
So to the moms with the 4.0 kids, please keep bragging. I am proud right along with you, as I know the back story to most of those 4.0's and it isn't all peaches and cream. And I'll post about my kids and their quirks. And we will all celebrate them and tell them that not only do grades matter, but so does character, talent, art, creativity and balance. Because they are all awesome and all deserve to hear it.
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