Belt Test Today

My youngest karate-ka and I tested for our next belt promotion today.  I'd like to say that I kicked butt, I don't think I did.  Every time I go through one of these I get all psyched up to do well, and then when I'm done, I go over in my head all the little stupid things I did during the test that I should have done better.  Not to mention that no one enjoys being judged--and if you do you are insane.  So imagine standing in front of a panel of 10+ pairs of eyes, looking at every flaw.  Well, if you're me, you turn red and start to sweat profusely, grateful for the fact that the end is near.  

I couldn't help but notice that the person who was "grading" me was taking copious notes.  Ugh!  I'm sure she wasn't because I was so great she wanted to gush about my grace under extreme pressure....And of course by inviting her to take up residence in my head during the test I know that I screwed up a couple of strikes, foot forms and at one point, my voice cracked during a sound-off like I was Peter Brady going through puberty ("when it's time to change...").

Here's some highlights.  I was actually proud of my roundhouse kick:

And I love this self-defense.  It's "bear hug over the arms," and requires you to reach behind and do a groin grab (assuming a man is doing this and that would actually hurt), followed by an elbow strike, aikido hand hold, snap kick to the face, and a takedown.  I love takedowns, I probably shouldn't love them as much as I do..

After I did my test, my daughter did hers--she was the only one in her belt rank going for a promotion, and she did great! When I think about how nervous I was, at least I'm not five years old, standing by myself in front of a bunch of adults.  What courage she showed!  Here's a picture of the two of us.  I'm such a proud mama-san:

Did we pass?  Well, we shall see tomorrow night!

Travel Knitting and Motion Sickness

We went to Florida last week.  I packed a simple scarf I've been working on for my dear nephew Josh, who I promised to make a scarf for for next christmas.  It is a simple pattern, K4P4, then P4K4 the opposite row.  I have crocheted in the car on road trips before, so I figured that knitting would be just fine.  Uh, no.  Whatever part of the brain I use to crochet must not be the same part that controls knitting because I was sooo queasy when I tried to knit more than 2 rows at time.  But the good news is that a 20 hour car ride is plenty of time to get in some quality knitting even if you're not trying.

So the scarf is almost done, and then it's on to Breton Girl..for me!!  I'm making it in grey and black...depending on how it turns out I may have to give it to someone..because I can't help myself.  I'm also attempting to finish socks, which are the bane of my existence.  socks, which seem so small and easy to make, pretty much take up weeks and weeks of delicate knitting.  Ack.

In other news, I'm going to test for my purple belt this next weekend.  I haven't gotten formal approval, but I'm so confident in my abilities that I know I will walk in and they'll literally stop the test to give me my belt right there.  Okay, so maybe that won't happen, but I'm regaining my confidence in that department and it feels good.  I also think my daughters will test for their belt promotions, so it will be a karate fest at my house for all the ladies!

Confidence Deficit

I've never been what one would consider an "athlete."  In fact, one might say I was athletically challenged--I still have scars down my knees from my failed attempt at hurdles in 8th grade.  The poor track coach thought "tall girl with long legs, let's try her on hurdles" and fifteen minutes later I was in the school nurse's office, laying on a cot while she picked cinders out of my shins with a pair of tweezers.  So let's say that sports are not my strong suit.

But when I got older I fell in love with yoga, running and biking, three strenuous activities that are generally safe when done correctly.  So karate was an excellent fit for me.  And so far, that has proven correct.

Except my head isn't there yet.  In my head, I'm still tripping over hurdles.

I know everything that I need to do for my next belt promotion, and I have even had it all signed off.  But every time I have the opportunity for the Master to test me, I find something wrong with what I was doing and delay it.  I know every single thing I need to do to get a perfect score on my belt test, but the only thing I do not have is the confidence to do it.  And that is the problem.

This shouldn't be a shock to those who know me--I have a track record of lacking confidence in certain areas of my life.  It's like I don't think I deserve success or good fortune, that stuff like that is for people who do things totally perfectly, who are naturally athletic or smart or outgoing.  You'd think at the age of 38, with a successful career, a great family and just the sheer will power to learn a new sport would be enough for me to be confident in my abilities, but it's almost as if I need a life coach standing next to me 24 hours a day giving me constant positive reinforcement.  And that's exhausting.  I know.  I don't want to be this way anymore.

So for the next week I am going to stop this negative self-talk and channel my inner Stuart Smalley, be my own life coach.  And I WILL test for my purple belt and I WILL snatch it out of the hands of the Master.  Because I worked hard for it and I will have earned it!

Okay, maybe I won't snatch it out of his hands.  Because he's a lot bigger than me and I'm pretty sure he could break something important.  But you know what I mean.

Summer fabric and fiber arts

When the weather gets hot, it becomes harder for me to focus on making wooly blankets and heavy socks for cold feet.  I'd rather make summery dresses and shirts, using the trusty portable sewing machine my mom bought me for christmas in 2000.  The same sewing machine that my husband claimed I'd never use, probably because at that point he hadn't known me long enough to know that my approach to crafting has seasons--I love all kinds of crafts and will go through little phases depending on the time of year.  Summer is a great time to make jewelry and sew, fall, winter and spring are my fiber arts seasons.

Because of my job and family demands, I haven't had a lot of time in the last ten years to devote to my passion for sewing.  However, this year, I am starting to feel a little more liberated--the girls are both independent (which, in this house, is reached when one can buckle oneself into the car) and off doing their own thing.  Compound this with several babies being born this year to friends and family and I've got a reason to break out my sewing machine to make simple block quilts.  And while it's out, I may as well make a couple of cute sundresses for the girls, and maybe a shirt or skirt for myself.  

I was at the Tommy Bahama store last weekend, eyeing some gorgeous summer clothes for our upcoming trip to Florida.  I love TB's women's line; the fabrics are light and easily packable, and very flattering for almost any shape.  The downside to Tommy Bahama is that it's outrageously expensive, so hard to justify in this age of austerity.  I spied this gorgeous flowy halter top, but $88 would pay for 2 gallons of gas for our road trip!   But I had an idea....I had the pattern to make a similar-styled halter, all I needed was some summery fabric to make it.  That way I could have an $88 look for $12 worth of fabric...off to Joann Fabrics I went.

I woke up early yesterday (4 am), so excited to get stated on my project.  I wish I had snapped photos of what I was doing to show you just how simple it was to make this shirt.  From start to finish, including laying out the pattern, cutting the fabric, and sewing it all together was about 2 hours.  Here's the finished product:

It's wrinkly because I was so excited to have it finished yesterday that I wore it before I had a chance to take a picture!  here's the detail on the tie in back:

I'm planning on making a couple more for the season.  I like the tunic-style, which hides a multitude of sins.   The pattern is also easily modifiable to make a sundress--just a little more fabric.  

Anyway, that's what I've been up to.  Oh, and all those baby quilts?  Well, I'm hoping to get to that this weekend......

Violating my Own Etiquette Rules

I think anyone who has seen Karate Kid or watched Kung Fu Theatre knows that etiquette is a central tenant of any martial arts style.  There’s a hierarchy and there are rules about how you behave.  Our dojo has very specific rules about etiquette and general behavior that every student is expected to know and abide.  But there are sometimes mistakes….

I started taking karate because, among other reasons, I was looking for a sense of order in my otherwise chaotic life.  Karate brings that, and then some!  The bowing and the rank system mean something here.  So many titles in everyday life are meaningless, especially in my given profession, that it’s quite refreshing to enter a space where titles mean EVERYTHING.  But not in a negative sense, in a matter of respect and homage.  Dan, Sensei, Master, these titles mean that the person has passed a great test, achieved a major milestone.  And respect is given to that, for good reason. 

So it pains me that my oldest daughter has the WORST habit of fiddling with her belt while at cheriut (attention).  I notice this more now that I’m helping to instruct.  I also can’t stand how she does pushups, but that’s another story…which is actually quite funny. 

I hate to zone in on my kids all the time because it drives them crazy and probably isn’t fair of me. . . but . . .their behavior reflects on me, right?  And of course, I’m PERFECT. . .

Last week I was helping to instruct the children’s class.  This was the same class where the Master was speaking to the students about the importance of etiquette, sitting properly during class, and not creating a distraction during belt testing.  I was listening attentively to what he was saying, and making mental notes so that when I had a chance to instruct my group of students, I’d make sure to mention something about etiquette (bowing to your partner, et cet).  I was complimenting myself on the lessons I was learning and ….that is until I heard this:

http://youtu.be/42QnlzsPdzI

My ringtone….UGH!!  I just violated my own personal etiquette rule, “thou shalt not let one’s phone ring while in the dojo.”  I ran to mute it, also violating the rule about not leaving the dojo unless permitted to do so..So basically, I was breaking all the rules that night, so let’s just add in my swearing “Oh shit” underneath my breath as I frantically searched for my whistling phone, which was at the bottom of my gear bag.  And yes, let’s pause for a moment to chuckle that my ring tone is the theme song to Kill Bill—yea, that’s an extra special touch of irony during karate class. 

I returned to class just as everyone had taken a break.  Whew.  My face beet red (which, thanks to my Irish predisposition to blush like the Lucky Charms guy, happens at least 16 times a day, since I have a tendency to embarrass myself every waking hour of the day), I resumed helping to instruct.  Of course adding in a few comments about etiquette to the small group of beginners, but no longer so righteously indignant.  After all, we all have our moments, right?

Next blog post: quilting for a baby and socks, more socks.  And hopefully beginning another sweater pour moi.

On being a Road Warrior

So I ran my first half-marathon today.  But the story actually starts two years ago, when I took a look at my body and asked myself, “what the hell happened to you?”  Being a full time mom with a full-time job had done a number on me.  Not to mention telecommuting.  No one told me about the “telecommuting 20”, the 20 pounds of weight you gain simply by the mere fact of being able to cook exactly what you want for every meal and only having to move just a few feet a day.  Then add on the metabolism factor—I never believed my friends who warned me that my metabolism would change for the worse after 35—oy.  Bottom line: I had gone from curvy to flabby.

So I did what every woman does and first tried to control what I ate—that didn’t work.  Then I tried to exercise on my own.  Again, not working.  I finally got serious and joined a gym and got a personal trainer.  My first trainer, Stacy, was awesome, but sadly after three months she left to find a job closer to home.  Then I met Natalie, who was a force of nature.  I never thought that so much energy and strength could come in such a small package.  She taught me the benefit of weight training, and while I’m sure I constantly disappointed her (my mouth ran more than I did), she helped me get over my fear of the big scary machines in the gym.  My first post-trainer race was the Detroit Turkey Trot 5 K in 2009.  I finished in 36 minutes and thought I was the bomb-diggity. 

If I was a good girl, I would have kept signing up for races and been accountable, but I hit a snag with work stress and stopped making exercise a priority again.  Then I developed a recurring strep throat infection that lasted for near a year.  By January 2011 I was exhausted from trying to stay dedicated to exercise, knowing that it was good for me, but at the same time completely wiped out from being perpetually ill and trying to keep up my other life responsibilities. 

I was determined to get back on track.  I joined the adult karate class at my daughters' dojo, and I signed up for this half marathon.  This is MY year to shine, my year to meet goals for myself that I’ve had for several decades, but never made a priority because I didn’t want to appear selfish.

But something happens when you put yourself first.  You start to realize that by being good to yourself, you are good to everyone else around you.  And while I still lose my temper with my family way more than I’d like, I’m way too hard on myself professionally, and my house always is a mess, I know that most problems can be solved by taking a run.  Or a bike ride.  Or kicking it out at the dojo.  And when I do that everything else gets better. 

The other thing I also realized was that people come in all shapes and sizes—I am never going to be a waif—I’m too tall and I enjoy eating way too much for that to happen.  But as long as I’m good to myself and am mindful of what I put into my body (except for that $3 wine. . .hey, I didn’t say I was perfect) then I need to stop beating myself up. 

So I ran the ½ marathon today—my hamstring ached from the start, and I was not fully prepared for the rigors of a trail course.  But I FINISHED.  And no one can take that away from me.  There’s something to be said for that.

There’s also something to be said for finishing nearly dead last in a half marathon, in front of an 80 year old man with a ligament injury.  More than a little humbling.  But at the same time there’s a certain amount of satisfaction associated with beating that old dude.  ;)  

Instructing at the dojo, working on Christmas gifts

Since I got my yellow belt, I'm now required to log volunteer hours as an instructor before I can be eligible for another belt promotion (on top of all the other requirements for a belt promotion).  Am I the only person excited about this?  I really love it.

A few days ago, I had the chance to be an instructor to three young girls who were just starting in karate.  They had just signed up, and were learning the basics.  We went through the basics of class, including some of the terms, etiquette in class, and some of the basic self defense moves.  As we were finishing, one of the girls asked me, "can I earn a belt?"  It totally reminded me of my oldest on her first day of karate.  We had originally signed her up for a month through the local Parks and Rec; kids who sign up through parks and rec aren't required to wear a gi, but if they want to get promoted then they have to invest in a uniform.  The first month killed my daughter  because she wanted to be like the other kids in a uniform working on stuff for their belts.  But I knew it was a big commitment, so I didn't want her to start up and then hate it six months later.  So I explained to the girl that if she really liked it, then she would have to talk to her parents about getting a uniform and formally start pursuing karate with the goal of getting a belt.

I don't know what it was, but I really felt good about being able to give back what has given me so much over the last six months.  Of course a half-year doesn't sound like much time, but I think back to January where I was at my lowest both mentally and physically.  Being a mom isn't easy, and add a full time job to the mix.  I had forgotten how to do anything for "me".  It's the old cliche, really.  But karate has given me a whole new lease on life.  I feel better, I sleep better, I run more, and I am finally able to turn work off at 5.  I think my family benefits from this, too.  And the best part is that I'm reaching a goal that I've had since I was a little girl, living in a town where karate was an exotic past time for boys only.  I remember telling my middle school guidance counselor once that some day, I was going to be a special agent for the FBI with a black belt in karate.  Well, the FBI job probably won't happen, but the black belt sure will!

On the knitting/crocheting front, I'm working on 2 christmas gifts right now.  I'm hoping to finish them soon because I really want to work on Breton Girl for myself.  I'll post pics when they are done.  In the meantime, here's a pic of my putting on my yellow belt for the first time (I have no idea why my head is tilted at such an awkward angle)!